The Bucket List: The Path to no Regrets

Experience is one thing you cant get for nothing- Oscar Wilde

Many of you have seen, heard or spoke about that list you definitely have make true before you die.
The thing is..."No one" knows when is going to die. So I started this new project showing people my joy after making them true. Because I certainly believe you measure yourself by the people who measure themselves by you, I'll give it a try and who knows...maybe I get to push you to do it for yourself.

What's a bucket list and How to create one?

Simply, It is a list  of life experiences, dreams and goals you desire to achieve before you die.
 You create them daily, through out the day "Today I will sleep early"  "I am going to study today so tomorrow I can chill" "I will stop screwing with the guy from the library..by the end of this month".
The truth is if you can't figure out those plans your life is probably passing  you by.

So, the point of this bucket list is extrapolate those daily goals and make them bigger, just for the JOY of your soul. Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others? There is not righter time than the Now, that sounded so Dr. seuss, Hahahah.

In order to help you visualize the magnitude your goal should have or the depth of them, the impact in your life, I recommend you this movie with the Duh name "THE BUCKET LIST" with Sir Morgan Freeman and  Mr. Jack Nicholson.

Trailer for you <3

Take this as reference too:

-What have you always wanted to do but have not done yet?- Any countries, places or locations you want to visit?-What/who do you want to see or meet in person?- What experiences do you want to have/feel? -Any skills or anything you want to learn or try out?- What would you like to say/do together with other people?

THIS NOW IS MY BUCKET LIST 

(Note: I will place a picture/video if is accomplished)

1.  TRAVEL AROUND THE WORLD (Incomplete)

 Toledo, Spain  ( 2007)

 Venecia, Italy. (That's my dad, circa 2007)

2.HAVE A PICTURE WITH SOMEONE WORLDWIDE FAMOUS

3.SKYDIVE

4.MEET MY LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP BOYFRIEND

5. BE AT COMIC CON

6. LEARN ANOTHER LANGUAGES BESIDES SPANISH (Incomplete)

English

7. LEARN MARTIAL ARTS (Incomplete)

(judo, don't own this picture for some reason I never took one, oh yeah.. I was training instead.)

8.LEARN HOW TO SKATE

9. GO SKIING

10. GIVE A HEARTFELT GIFT TO SOMEONE

11. MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN SOMEONE'S LIFE

12.FIND MY REAL PASSION

13. BE EXTRA IN A MOVIE

14. BE THE LEAD IN A TRENDING MOVIE

15. START MY BUSINESS 

16. SING TO AN AUDIENCE

17.DO VOLUNTEER WORK

18. GET A DRINK FOR A STRANGER

19. BEFRIEND A STRANGER

20. DANCE BAREFOOT IN THE RAIN

21. A KISS IN THE RAIN THAT MATTERS

22. SEE THE NORTHERN LIGHTS

23. GO CAMPING

24. GIVE SOMEONE I LOVE, A STAR

25. HAVE A TEA PARTY

26. PUBLISH A BOOK

27.THROW A MEGA PARTY
28. GET WHITE HAIR
29. GET WILD COLOR HAIR

30.BECOME A DOCTOR IN MEDICINE

31. WALK THE RED CARPET

32. HAVE A REALLY CLOSE FRIENDSHIP WITH A FAMOUS KOREAN ACTOR OR SINGER

33. PLAY AN INSTRUMENT

34. TAKE DANCE CLASSES (incomplete)

35. GO ON A ROAD TRIP




(Constanza, 2016)

36. EXPERIENCE TOMORROWLAND

37. BE PART OF A GREAT CAUSE

38. LIVE IN A DIFFERENT COUNTRY AT LEAST FOR 6 MONTHS

39. GET FEATURED IN MEDIA FOR SOMETHING YOU ARE PROUD OF

40. CREATE A DREAM HOME

41. HAVE A DREAM WEDDING

42. LIVE THROUGH 4 SEASONS OF THE YEAR

43.GO ON MEDITATION RETREAT

44.VISIT KOREA/ JAPAN WITH FRIENDS

45. MAKE A TIME BOX WITH SOMEONE

46. PICNIC DAY

47.FLY A HELICOPTER

48. GO ON A ROMANTIC GETAWAY

49. LEARN SIGN LANGUAGE

50. COSPLAY LIKE JESSICA NIGRI

51. GAIN ENLIGHTENMENT

52. ADOPT AN ANIMAL

53. EXPEND MONEY ON LOUBOUTIN PAIR OF SHOES WITH RED SOLE

54. BE HYPE ON LOOKBOOK.NU

55. HAVE A ROCK BAND

56. MAKE THE CUTEST BABY ON EARTH

57.BREAK THE LAW

58. HAVE AN AMAZING WARDROBE

59.LEARN HOW TO BARTEND

60. RIDE THE LONDON EYE

61.GIVE PEOPLE A GOOD REASON TO KNOW MY NAME

62. GET A TATTOO

63. KISS AND HUG A DOLPHIN

64. MEET FRIENDS FROM OTHER COUNTRIES

65. VISIT SLOVENIA WITH MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER

66. TAKE A PICTURE OF MY AURA

(2014, ADASEC)

67. GO TO BRITNEY SPEARS CONCERT

68.Cook big meal for more than 2 people

69. Bdsm

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This is the story about how the universe prepared me to lose her.

Since I can remember, I heard my mom saying how difficult her life was without her mother, how much she had to suffer because of it and how every Christmas she cried. Maybe I was too young or maybe  the universe didn't allow me to empathize with those feelings, to me it was and still is a waste of time, mourning about things that can't be changed. I'm not saying is wrong, but spend and base your life on that unavoidable moment  is absolutely ridiculous, her pain wasn't though.

I've always been an independent person mentally and emotionally, if I can do it alone, I will. My mom was all the way around, she was too co-dependent of everyone else's emotions, thoughts and actions, maybe that's one of the reason we didn't get along that much.

As she was a toxic person to my integrity as a human being, she was too the most devoted mother anyone could have ever asked for. No one, and believe me when I say NO ONE, could or would put a hand or a bad word on me and lived to tell, because she became Athenea when it comes to me.

Time passed I was more eager to leave the house and live on my own, but I was counting I could come back home, and maybe because the distance, my mother and I would be finally best friends.

I am a human being that understand within me that everything in this world, has a balance, a cycle an end and a reason. That's one of the reason I  found people who taught me how the universe, the energy and us work together, and how being an ovum, a sperm, a baby then a kid, later a teenager, an adult, an elder and then death  are just cherries of the same salad. Was amazing how  those explanation made me feel more complete than ever. I managed to avoid unnecessary burden to my life, if something bothers me, talk it out, or walk away. If I don't feel like going to meet someone I just don't go, and so on. I tried teaching that life style to a person who worried about every little thing, someone who was a prisoner of "what the others would say" and some other social atrocities.

And so far there's nothing I regret more, than failing to change her, I wanted her free, I wanted her happy, I wanted her to feel plenty.

My mom silently taught me a lot of things, and tried to teach me some others. One of the things she tried me doing is the importance of giving someone a gift. To me is still a matter of the heart and not because some one is waiting for it, it was like that even for her. As she pushed me to give gifts away the more my self refused, when she finally stopped, I started making gestures to her. One time I bought her a pretty black shoes that now I own, yes for those who didn't know, we could use each other's clothes or at least some of them, all of the shoes and jewelry.

I'm grateful that I voluntarily took my mom out to eat sushi, on the night would be her last birthday.
 I dressed up pretty, because she always wanted me to look like a doll, I drove her to the place, I toke her order, we ate, we talked, she managed to make me feel awful in front of the owner of the place which happens to be an acquaintance of mine, but that was her... I would never be an adult to her. But that's fine, I made my part, and tried to make her happy, I really wanted.

She hated be taken pictures, but that night I took  a couple, and started to take pictures of her, and with her, just because, I didn't had enough pictures with her. And now that's all I have left.

Most people don't know this, but I knew I was going to lose her while I was young, since the first time she told me, she lost her mother while being a teen something made click inside of me. For some reason I thought would be on my 17th birthday, why 17 you ask? I don't know, it just kept poping in my head, but I was wrong. So I kinda believed everything else was my mind overreacting.

A young person who managed to live inside her room with very few necessities, came out to full fill those, I found myself running to her room to hug her and stay at least 5 min under her body while she was watching tv, was so rare, she asked me if everything was ok, but I couldn't just say I needed to hug her, because I simply missed her.

June 5th, was an ordinary day, I was home doing my thing on the internet, chatting with my boyfriend, and my friends,I get a call from a friend asking me to go out, but besides my laziness something else made me say no, several times. My parents arrived home, mom was getting ready to sleep when some squeezing pain on her chest attacked her, she was pale, cold, dizzy and lightheaded. As medicine student She asked me to get my sphygmomanometer which I did, but her pressure was normal. She went to the bathroom, dad and I were getting ready to take her to the hospital, I found her losing consciousness while sitting on the toilet, there was no time for me to freak, I knew she was having a heart attack, I ran and looked for aspirin, I found the only white pills we had and smashed them, gave it to her under her tongue and dressed her to go.

As soon as we arrived the hospital, I could see how terrible the system is and the lack of humanity in my future colleagues, she wasn't taken seriously until my uncle who happens to be a doctor arrived, and speed them up.

Mom was treated, watched over, and went back home, as a new person. The situation scared the shit out of her. But that was just the beginning.

The next 3 months would change our lives. Her heart needed a bypass, which means take an artery from a leg or so and make a bridge with it in her heart, surgery date was august 5th, she had to eat healthy, she did, I was surprised. But after a week or so we ran to the situation where her pleural space started to storage liquids, pleural effusion, had to get inside intensive care once more and longer, she spent approximately 18 days, her family from all over the country came to see her, everyone was rooting for her health, I was giving up.

I became my mom's personal taxi, I started to behave like an adult, making appointments taking her to them, all she ever did for me while growing up, I did it during those 3 months. I showered her, i cleaned her, I feed her and so on. The universe let me pay some of my debts to her.

After those 18 days, she came back home, the doctors said was mom's fault all of that was happening to her because she wasn't doing enough the breathing exercise, but they were wrong. The truth is her heart never started as it should have to compensate the other organism functions. And thanks to that I blamed her, I hated her, because I saw how she was giving up on her life, how she was giving up on me.

The truth is she lasted longer because she fought, like a real warrior. (I'm sorry mother to take your credit away). She said how badly the nurses treated her, making her feel miserable, and I thought she was just being ultra sensitive like usually she was. I told her to not feel bad, because i thought they were treating her like that for her to gain strength and work harder to get out of intensive care, but I guess I was wrong again, and I failed to protect you.

 A week later, after those 18 days, she went back to intensive care, was Friday, 12th, she woke up great, because finally she had a very good night sleep, but after a couple of hours, she started to feel bad again, and so we had to take her to the hospital, her lungs were getting filled up with liquids again. Had to stay in intensive care for second time. I had her breathing exercise device, so I ran inside the room to give it back in case she needed it, and ran out so i wouldn't get scolded by the hospital personal, I didn't know "Bye ma' "  would be my last words to her and maybe she didn't even hear it. Since no one can stay with her inside that area, I left, went home with my cousin and aunt, to eat and rest, so we would come back at 5 pm for visit hour.

That day I ate, took a nap, woke up with a weird feeling, it was getting late for us to leave to the hospital, so I started to get my bed done, and while folding the sheets in my head I said "She can't die like this" and deeper inside me I heard "she should just stop suffering".

Driving to the hospital, normal, we've been in that trip for months, I left my aunt and cousin to walk to the intensive care hall while I was parking the car. I arrived, and as soon as I did, with my mind full of superfluous thoughts, another aunt hug me and says "She's gone" "your mom is gone".

The necessity of hugging was only hers, I was just waiting the laugh and the next part of the joke, when she says that was it, just a really bad joke. I did not cry,  looked for my dad and went there. There was my mom's sister crying about her baby sister, broke my heart, and one of her favorite niece, and my dad all crying in a mourning sonata.

Tears slipped down my cheeks, and my nose started running, but I was numb. The next thing I know is people looking at me in pitty, my friends rushing to arrive and spend some time with me at the hospital before I left the city to bury my mom's flesh body. Oh and I went to pathology, I saw her laying there, with injured face, cold, and stiff. I shook her, I begged her to wake up, called her eomma, ma', mami, but there was no reply, it was true, she wasn't coming back, this wasn't a sick joke.

Next morning I woke up at Romana, where she was born, the place she loved like nowhere else, the place she was free to herself. The funeral wasn't something of my taste. Watching my mom laying in a white coffin while people started to sing and mumble christian jumbo, that I knew in my heart wasn't true, was deplorable., people hugging me, looking at me to see my reaction to see me crying and perhaps calculate how much I'm in pain for the amount of tears and cries I shout, people trying to convert me to their christian bullshit with the "If you want to see her again in heaven you have to accept Christ in your heart" all the time that happened was tactless and hurtful. That's when I realized, funerals are for the family not the deceased, is egoist, is stupid but comforting, not for me of course, remember I am a weird bug. Even tho was nice hearing people talking so good about my mom, it frustrated me, because some of them never called her, never took her out of her depression. So it really keeps me thinking people are good and great just after they are dead, same with paintings, same with singers.

Is been a month, and I have been eating the same, doing the same, and almost feeling the same. Except few times during the day I think of her, and her absence echoes in my soul. I never felt her lingering in here, so that actually comforts me, I know shes getting healed and treated well in this new phase of her self being. I just wonder If she still thinks of me.

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Worries of the 20 something...

We all know how this starts, if you live in a first world country  you might have gone to college, to your own dormitory by the age of 18, and luckily for you they are no differences whether  you're female or male, is pretty normal, However for those who haven't leave home, and still living in their parents house when they are pretty conservative, not amish way of course, but yet enough to mess a young mind. Here are a few things that i bet you can relate to.

Once  you hit the 20's  your thoughts exactly?

Haha, lets be honest...we all thought things like "finally im older and im at college i can come home whenever i want or at least way past my old curfew"

WRONG 

"AS LONG AS YOU LIVE UNDER THIS ROOF YOU'LL DO AS I SAY"

Yes, my parents, specially my mom say that everytime, and i'm pretty sure yours too. That's when the real battle starts. You start thinking how to make money, and how to get out of the house soon.

If you're smart enough, you'll wait till you get a WELL PAID JOB to get out of there, because you're not 15 anymore, this time you gotta do all your shit, and life isn't easy, or do some magic trick like im devising XD maybe in some other post i'll tell.

Worry number 1:
Facing "ADULTHOOD"

THE DEGREE

For most of us having a degree might mean a breathe of freedom or the reins to handle your life. But things get a little clouded when you still have 7 years in your 5 years career, or more, when school teachers makes a nightmare of your time  in there. That's probably when you start to compare yourself to your HighSchool mates that already finished their studies, plus being paid, having a car, and all those fucking pictures on facebook and instagram of how great their lifes is [usually everything is a bluff but we still buy it].

So here comes the doubts if what you chose as career is not what is going to make you happy, and is not what you're good at, or maybe you should have taken something else that doesn't take too long like administration or interior design, i don't know.Probably, by then you'd have changed your career a couple of times, and still in the last one, you're thinking again if that is your thing.

Above all you have these people called family, in which every reunion they ask you "when are you going to finish your career?"   "what is your plan for your future?", then you look around and you see everyone else staring at you waiting for an answer that blow their mind or to confirm how much of a loser your are, So in my head my answer is the same, "WELL IM FINISHING MY ONLINE STUDIES TOMORROW ABOUT HOW TO BE THE FIRST SPACEWOMAN PLUMBER, JUST TO FULL FILL YOUR EXPECTATIONS : ) AND MAYBE WATCH SO MUCH PORN MY HAND FALL OFF, AND OF COURSE WORLD PEACE."

While your face is a little bit like this.

I think we all wanted to do that sometime but unfortunately, not everyone have the ovaries or the balls and most of us will end up like cher from clueless questioning yourself, when you shouldn't.



Nothing is wrong with you. Something i figured out recently, You walk on your own pace.Forget about everyone elses because your journey is completely amazing and different from the rest of the world, if you waste your time thinking how can you make it more like those cool kids on instagram you'll miss the things that can change your own life into the dreamland you ever wanted.

Worry number 2:
Facing "SEXUALITY/ROMANCES"

THE UNEXPECTED CHILD

While asking around one of the worries that kept pop-ing up is about having an unexpected child, of course none of us is ready to deal with that, i mean we're trying to stand up in our own feet and is DAMN HARD, imagine with a vulnerable little person that you gotta take care of. Besides of how much everything would change for you. Although IT IS NOT THE WORLD'S END, is hand-able there's no need for you to make it disappear, hurt it, or else.

But you early 20, gotta understand that having intercourse actively, gives always that possibility, unless you're sterile. And yet that doesn't exempt you from getting STD. And, yes, having sex without condom is mad delicious, i'm not being hypocrite,  but one is never too careful.

By the way there are a lot of ways for you Male macho to avoid getting your lady pregnant, And Female Caballota, you know your ways better than anyone, and if not, go to your doctor, they'll never judge you in your face, plus you have internet.

That most of contraceptive methods are for females, IT DOESN'T MEAN MEN SHOULDN'T KNOW ABOUT THEM, BECAUSE WHEN YOU CARE, AND LOVE SOMEONE, KNOWLEDGE CAN PROTECT.
In case you don't know i'll tell you this:
*There are pills the women can take the day after the intercourse, but this one is better not to take more than 3 per year, because it can make your body uneven hormonal speaking and could get you sterile. Is an emergency pill, ONLY. (this one does not prevent you  or your partner from STD's)

* Contraceptive injections, those are intramuscular, the gynecologist applies it between the 1st and the 5th day of your period and you can choose how to get it, every month, every 2 month, or every 3 months. You cannot pass over the 3 days of the application, then you gotta wait 2 months non using it so you can start all over.  (this one does not prevent you or your partner from STD's)

* And of course those regime container with 28 pills, that the woman start drinking the 1st or 2nd day of the period (better use a condom the first week), the next pill 1/day at the same time every time, this is not for pill effect BUT for the woman to never forget to take the pill, cos it only works if you don't forget any.

*For the man the condoms, yes, those plastic stuff,  rubbers, that leaves a nauseous smell in the vagina, is one of the most secure methods not 100% but enough and it doesn't hurt the ladie's body like the other ones that are chemicals and shits.
 

These are just the basics people, read more! Unless you want to share this with your partner in crime 


                                           ROMANCE~  OHH LALA~

When was the last time  you had a stable relationship? [this does not include pets, nor objects, nor food, nor one sided love with your Bias]

Is been that long? Then i guess your having your middle age wrath of why can't you find a fine man that calls you babe, that takes you to places, show you stuff, makes you want to get married and have children and all that mojo. Or a nice woman, that calls you boo, buy you tickets to the knicks or maybe the lakers.

I mean yes when you are already 24, 25, 26 and you haven't being able to pull up a stable relationship in so long, you gotta wonder if you'll ever have the chance, that's when you see all this Effin beautiful couples, to makes you feel even more of an outcast Or. Maybe you're one of those people who loves to be forever single, going from flower to flower without committing to any. And i guess is fine, but when you're not hurting anyone and to be honest is really rare to find a woman that can pull up such an act like what it is...an act. Every woman wants to fall in love, every woman wants to make the bad boy going good for her, hahaha everyone wants to be someone else's savior, that's our mistake, but MEN PLEASE STOP TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THAT, i mean i'm aware there are some few stupid airheads that even tho you spell it they don't believe it, but it still not give you the right to keep playing.

NO, NO EXCUSES SHUT UP!
The real thing is, i don't think in 2014 people still live alone with 27 cats for the rest of their lives, i mean you just gotta risk a bit and there you gonna find that special someone or that person who leads you to the right and perfect for you, You just gotta be honest to yourself and willing to take a risk, plus what i think is really important is to visualize the person you want to walk in your life, don't ever accept less than what you deserve NEVER. Sometimes it make look selfish but is not. Never really is.

Worry number 3:
Facing "THE SYSTEM"

THE LAMB

Is a fact for us 80's-90's kids, to have a rebel inside us and we totally refuse to succumb

to the system, but is really hard not to, i mean since little we are already part of the system, because we are probably in a educational institute where they shape us to go right is to go further in the same system, like...you are in elementary school, everyone ask you which grade and tell you how smart you are and how fast you're going and stuff like that, when you go to high school, people ask you what do you want to do in college, and at some point you believe that's all is there for you to do, study, study, please everyone else but you.

when finally reaching the 20's you realized that big part of your life has really been manipulated
for so long, that now you want to break through but is really difficult because there's something in there an assurance from the system, called money, and educational debts, that makes sure you keep working for the system, and every time you try to break through there's a huge come back answer in short-term that makes you believe you're better within the system.

Sometimes i believe the only way to escape it is never being in it in the first place. Or Union. But that's just an utopia. [C.R.E.A.M= cash rules everything around me] The moment to break with the system is now, no when you "get money".

Worry number 4:
Facing "FAMILY ERRORS"

THE SIMILARITY TO YOUR PARENTS


Unfortunately not all of us have cool parents, or open minded parents, when you're too young you do not realize all the flaws our parents have, but as we grow older, in a completely different century, where sex, some social rights, wanderlust, and internet is served cold with  your burgers and fries, we then realize how wrong our parents are, so at times you face doubts with some thoughts procedures or else, and even though you want to change cos you NOW know how it work, or how things should work for you to be happy, you can't change it so easily, that is of course if you're lucky enough to figure out those things before is too late.

Others will realize when they're doing it to their son/ daughter or maybe not. Creating a vicious circle of stupidity.

I think we all have been scared to be like the mother that stays home clean, do the laundry, cook, do the dishes, and is always tired, or has to raise her kids with no help, and no time for herself, wasting her youth and the possibilities to be better for her and her kids, just because bad decisions.




That's when you decide to be happy at whatever cost, but then you find yourself immersed in the system and since is easier to go with the flow that stand against it, you'll crap all you're ideals.

Worry number 5:
Facing "WANDERLUST"

RUNNING OUT OF TIME


Most of us have wished to wander around the world, put a lock in in the seine bridge in Paris and throw away the keys to the river, walk up the Chinese wall, listen to the tic tac of the Big Ben, and so on. It becomes a distress when you are 20 and something and you haven't seen anything out  from your country or hometown, while having this free spirit and this desire to be places you've never seen.

I know we all want to have adventures with your friends before it is too late, probably move out of your mother country and taste other culture, but is just the same as i said before, the system.

You do need money to make all that happen, so you need  a well paid job, that allows you to enjoy it whenever you want and however you want. But is rare, cause things get mixed up, if isn't the job, then is probably family issues, or health, or yourself being always negative.



For all of you that wants to travel the world, enjoy your youth, and need the resources, its almost impossible not to fall in the system circle, but if you focus on getting it for that purpose, despite of everything else, it will happen. Just focus.

Lets  sail the fucking world, lets enjoy our youth, lets make the system think we are outcasts, but lets make them envy us, and be source of proofs that IT CAN BE DONE.

As always, a pleasure

K.

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